Running with Id and Ego

    I ran 9 miles today, the longest I have ever run. With me every step of the way were my 2 little friends Id and Ego. I am starting to think running is more about trying to calm the little voices in my mind more than moving my legs. I start playing games with myself to keep my brain occupied. It all starts with jellybeans. For energy, I keep a little baggie of Jelly Belly's on my treadmill that I munch along the way. My plan was to eat one every 10 minutes along with a big swig  of Gatoraid. Well Id kicks in early with "I'm hungry". This was after about 5 minutes. I know I am not hungry yet, I just ate breakfast. Ego softly tells Id "no". This does not stop Id, he keeps obsessing about the jellybeans, trying to figure out the flavors from the colors and select which one it wants first. After it gets the first one this game continues. Which flavors would mix well? I should have been happy with the jelly bean obsession. even if I ate the whole bag of jelly beans to keep Id quiet.

    Id gets bored and moves on. "I'm bored" he says. "Why aren't we going faster?" Ego chimes in with "We can't, we have a long way to go" Id doesn't settle for that "I know we can run faster than this. I have seen it, don't give me that crap" Ego replies "Those are shorter runs, we need to conserve energy" Id doesn't listen and starts moving my finger towards that little triangle pointing up on the console of my treadmill. I barely was able to stop Id in time. I tell them both to shut up at this point in time and I will go faster at the end if I feel like it.

   That's when another voice kicks in to back Id up, I think I call her the self destructive voice, she seems to have Id's side in this one. "At this rate it is going to take you 15 minutes to run a mile, we have to run 9 of them, do you know how long that is? Why are we even doing this, a half marathon is going to take you forever. Do they even let in people who run this slowly. Go faster" She tries to guilt me into pushing the pace. She doesn't really care if we go faster or not, she just wants me to burn out and fail. Ego and I politely tell her where she can go and recommend a hand held wicker carrying vessel she can deliver herself in.

   All if the voices in my head continue in this manner until about mile 6. Id kicks in with "I'm tired" Self-Destructive has his back, even Ego is like "I have no suggestions here, I am kinda tired too" Then my arm comes up with a great trick for all of us. It lashes out and pulls the safety key out of the treadmill. We come to a screeching halt. As I hook it back up I realize my arm is a genius. All of the previous miles and minutes are erased. Now I just have a short 3 mile run to do. I didn't just run 6 miles there is no proof of it, and even if I run 15 minute miles its still only a quick 45 minute run. We all manage to finish the run arm and arm. Even Self-Destructive had nothing to say. I know on my next long run thee voices will start all over again but I beat them today and I can do it in the future and they will be there with me asking for jellybeans and a nap when we cross the finish line of the Half-Marathon.