Wow time really slips by when you are procrastinating something. I have tried to write this post a few times, but not sure I could do it justice. This isn't going to be much about running and more about some heavy realizations I have come to. I have finally gotten healthy enough mentally and physically to realize something: I am seriously fucked up. That's how fucked up I am, I resort to curse words to illustrate a point. Now I know some of you are rushing to defend me, but wait, you might change your mind in a moment. You are seriously fucked up too. Everyone I know is f'ed up. This entire country is thriving on it. We are all buying things we don't need on credit we can't pay back just to give the illusion we have it all together. In reality no one has it together, but we are trying so hard to present this illusion that everything is ok.
I have been trying so hard to be perfect I was ripping myself apart, and I know I am not the only one. I know suburbia moms who are addicted to painkillers and mother's whose children drive them crazy. I have friends with eating disorders and others who quietly cry themselves to sleep. I think that is why we love shows like Real Housewives, because these are people who all look perfect on the surface but we see how messed up they are underneath. I am no better or no worse than anyone. Why can't we all just admit we are not perfect and lend our support to each other? If we could all just accept we are messed up it might actually help our healing. If we aren't all comparing ourselves to the faces other people show but to the real person behind the mask, it could help everyone's self esteem.
Who will join me in telling the truth and asking for help when we need it? We all need help and only when we ask for it can we move past our issues. You could have a friend , family member, or neighbor who has just what you need to get past your problems and they have no idea you need them because you are trying to look perfect. If any of you need someone to go for a run with and tell you silly jokes I am here for you, as always.
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